How I Decompress After Being Around People

I love people. I also occasionally need several hours where absolutely nobody speaks to me. Both things can be true.

I enjoy socialising.

I love meeting friends, going for lunch, getting dressed up, discovering new places, chatting over coffee and having those evenings where you laugh until your face hurts.

But there is another side to me.

After I’ve spent a lot of time around people, I need to disappear for a while.

Not dramatically. I’m not fleeing to a remote island and changing my name.

I just need quiet.

For years, I thought this was slightly antisocial. Why could I have a wonderful day with people I genuinely loved and still come home feeling completely exhausted?

Now I don’t question it. I simply build decompression time into my life.

And, I’ve grown rather fond of it.

First: I shut the world out

The best moment after a busy social day is closing my front door.

Shoes off. Bag down. Phone ignored.

There is something delicious about knowing that nobody needs anything from me for the next few hours.

I don’t immediately start replying to messages or scrolling through everything I’ve missed. I’ve just spent hours absorbing conversation, noise, expressions, stories and other people’s energy.

My brain doesn’t need more information.

It needs less.

The glamorous outfit comes OFF

I adore getting ready to go out.

I equally adore getting home and removing absolutely everything I spent an hour putting on.

Heels? Goodbye.

Bra? You’ve served your purpose.

Makeup? Coming off.

Hair? Going up.

Within approximately fifteen minutes, the woman who left the house looking polished and glamorous has been replaced by someone in ridiculously soft clothes and fluffy socks.

Both versions are fabulous.

One is considerably more comfortable.

I make everything quieter

Bright lights off.

Lamps on.

Television low, if it’s on at all.

Curtains closed.

I find that after a busy day, even ordinary background noise can feel like too much. So I deliberately make home feel calm.

Sometimes I’ll shower or have a bath. Sometimes I’ll do my skincare slowly instead of rushing through it.

And sometimes I’ll simply sit down with a hot drink and enjoy the fact that nobody is talking.

Honestly, silence is underrated.

I spend time with animals

Animals are my favourite kind of company when my social battery is empty.

They’re affectionate without requiring conversation.

They don’t ask follow-up questions.

They don’t care whether I’m entertaining.

And they certainly don’t expect me to make small talk.

There’s something incredibly grounding about sitting quietly with a pet, going for a peaceful walk or simply being around animals after a people-heavy day.

Company without performance.

Perfect.

I resist the urge to analyse everything

This one has taken practice.

If you’re an overthinker, you’ll know the post-social-event review.

Why did I say that?

Did that sound strange?

Was she quieter with me towards the end?

Did I talk too much?

Should I have said something different?

And suddenly you’re conducting a full internal investigation into an afternoon that everybody else has probably already forgotten.

I try not to do that anymore.

Unless something genuinely happened that needs addressing, the meeting is adjourned.

My brain does not need to prepare minutes.

Sometimes I need longer than an evening

This is the bit I’ve stopped feeling guilty about.

Sometimes a few quiet hours are enough.

Sometimes I want most of the following day to myself too.

If I’ve had an especially busy week, travelled, spent several days around people or had lots of social plans close together, I can feel completely depleted.

So now I try not to cram my diary.

A busy Saturday followed by a gloriously empty Sunday?

Heaven.

It isn’t that I didn’t enjoy Saturday.

It’s precisely because I want to continue enjoying socialising that I need the Sunday.

I’ve stopped treating alone time as loneliness

There is a huge difference between being lonely and being alone.

Some of my happiest moments happen completely by myself.

Coffee somewhere quiet.

A long drive with music playing.

A walk somewhere beautiful.

A cosy evening at home.

A little solo adventure where I can change my plans seventeen times without consulting another human being.

Being comfortable in your own company is incredibly freeing.

And I’ve realised that my quiet time doesn’t take anything away from my relationships.

It helps me return to them feeling more like myself.

My social battery isn’t a character flaw

Some people seem capable of socialising endlessly.

Wonderful for them.

I am not one of those people.

I can love you dearly and still be delighted when you go home.

I can have an amazing weekend and need Monday evening entirely to myself.

I can be sociable, friendly and adventurous while also protecting the quiet little pockets of life that restore me.

I’ve stopped trying to decide which version is the “real” me.

They’re both me.

The woman laughing over lunch with friends and the woman who gets home afterwards, changes into pyjamas and doesn’t want to hear another human voice until tomorrow.

And frankly, I rather like them both.

Pretty Little Tease rule: You don’t have to be available just because you’re alone. Sometimes disappearing into your own little world for a while is exactly what you need. ♡

Keep the quiet going

Create a cosy evening routine.

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